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Showing posts from June, 2017

Getting Over Negative Sex Messaging

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10 May 2017: Last night I saw episode 18 of Jane the Virgin. The theme that really stood out for me was that of the lasting effects of negative sex messaging in a person’s life.
Jane waited until marriage to have sex because her Catholic grandmother very strongly suggested that to behave otherwise would be a grave mistake. Though Jane chose to remain a virgin, the show emphasises that that did not mean that she did not have an interest in sex or have any sexual urges at all.
Over three seasons the show has explored Jane’s relationship with her own sexuality in interesting ways, showing that while remaining virgin was an important part of her identity, it was not the only thing that determined how she moved in the world.
At this point in Jane’s story, she has had the fairy tale wedding and the perfect (hard-won) first time, and she has also experienced the risky and tragic side of love and romance. She has been through a lot, and she has mostly handled it with grace and maturity. In thi…

Nine to Five

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In March of this year, after sending out numerous cover letters and various versions of my CV, going in for several interviews and worrying every day about whether I would become part of that dreaded statistic – the unemployed graduate – I finally got offered a job. I was so happy that one of my interviews had worked out, especially because this was the company that I was most interested in working for.



In my short time here, I have realised that the working world is wildly different from and also exactly the same as varsity. The same cliques, the same difficult seniors, the same questionable canteen food and the inescapable group politics. One vital difference is that at work, you get paid to put up with other people’s nonsense, so at least you can buy data and ice cream to get over all the stress you are put through. Here are a few other things that will happen to you at your new job:
You will be added to the shady group chat WhatsApp is where co-workers go to share their gripes about…

[Personal]: A different kind of anniversary

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8 June 2017: Today would have been my mother’s forty-seventh birthday.
In recent years, I’ve thought a lot about what my life would be like if she were still alive. How would my matric year have been: would I have picked a different matric dance dress, made different choices with university applications, or had better experiences with boys?
When I got to university, what advice would she have given me about surviving first year? When I turned 21, would she have shared stories with me about her own 21st birthday? About how she came to be married with a child at that young age?
When I was struggling to get through 2012, what would she have said and done to encourage me to keep going? (Would I have slipped into that depression in the first place?)
When I finally graduated, how proud would she have been? (All mothers are proud, but I would have like to bask in her special kind of I’m-so-proud-of-you.)



I was 15 when she died. It was a car accident. I still don’t know what exactly happened, or…