Thoughts After an Interview

I am still trying to re-orient myself after the interview I just had.

I walked into the room relatively calm, though I was unsure of what would happen next. I saw some familiar faces and some new ones. Sitting in that black chair facing this "panel of judges" was quite intimidating.

I spent a lot of time trying to make sure my breathing wasn't too heavy, as I felt my heart racing while the questions were asked. I had to remind myself not to fidget too much and to keep my eye contact steady. (Now was the time for me to get all the "ace your interview!" tips I had read in magazines out from the archives in my mind.)

"tell us a little bit about yourself". Well, what do you want to know? My answer to this question was just a summary of the first few lines of my CV. It was generic, not really a great impression of who I am overall. But then who am I, really? What do interviewers expect me to say when they ask this question?

And then there's the interview staple: "what other leadership experience do you have?" I had to be honest: none. The last time I was an official "leader" of anything, with badges and things like that, I was in primary school. Too many years have passed and I have changed too much to still be claiming those few months as a prefect as leadership experience. So how important was that question, really? I fudged something about having had to step into a conflict resolution at other levels of my life outside of school. I hope they bought it.

I had to do quite a bit of on-the-spot thinking. The question about what I would do in a deadline crisis did catch me a little bit off guard... I don't feel confident about my answer to that one. I feel like it sounded desperate. I will have to wait for the feedback to know how true that is.

But maybe I am desperate. Maybe all this second guessing I am doing is a result of me being anxious to get chosen. (I didn't even make it this far last time, so I am trying to make up for that. Like saying "see? I am good enough!)

Is this what it feels like to really want something?

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